After my first post i felt a sense of motivation. I had written the post at night and work up earlier then i have in a long time and got to work early too. I had breakfast and meditated which i don’t think i’ve ever done before together. I don’t usually eat breakfast and if i do it’s usually at work but that’s not a good habit to have. I put in a solid 11 hours at work which was awesome. That was Monday and since then everything has been crashing down. Not attending work or being late for work, sleeping countless hours and not getting up till 5pm . Not even seeing any daylight. Not wanting to face the day. Monday was a polar opposite to Tuesday. How could that be? How could i go from one to the other. From having that motivation and sense inside me to do something and wake up and face the world. I don’t know or do i. What i do know is i need answers. I guess writing this blog on the Sunday night gave me motivation and inspiration to live up to what i proclaimed at least for the next day. So that worked. Why didn’t it continue? The possible answers are that i haven’t written a blog entry since then to keep the wheel spinning. So there was no real acknowledgement of the positive day i had. Also the realisation that this blog was not going out or being seen by anyone but me. So maybe it’s time to really utilise my twitter account and be somewhat accountable to what write. This entry maybe gives you a sense of how far i can fall and have fallen and might make the trip to the best version of me seem more satisfying for both of us. Because these past few days i would glad to be Clarke Kent and Clarke Kent only. But i know deep inside i am more than capable of becoming Superman. However it’s not enough to know, i must do.
Random musings; during my enormous slumber i wondered if this would be happening when i reached 50 years old. I mean it could. Maybe you have kids and you can’t. But i want to change from the inside and not have external factors do that for me. I want to channel that inspiration and motivation from inside so no matter where i am or what situation i am in i know i can whatever i challenge myself to and will take the steps to get there. I love the quote from Jim Rome “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better”.
I can understand that its hard to stay constantly motivated but i think you can find endless sources of inspiration to make you stay motivated. Sometimes that might be needed to get you through what you need to do. Until next time.
howiturnedintosuperman 